Monday 27 October 2008

This is shit

This blogging business is shit, it requires so much effort and I dont know if anyone is reading it apart from my mother. Does anyone read it, or is facebook the only thing worth editing??

A lot of stuff has happened since i last wrote and i cant be bothered to write it all down. So I'm just gonna write about getting pissed on by a bat and food poisoning.

STORY ONE
I am Sihanoukville and getting pissed off with the number of fat English and German sex tourists on the beach. Anyway, I bump into a guy I met in Phnom Penh who is now organising a group to go across to Bamboo Island, a 'tropical paradise' - I say yes and we say we will bump into each other on the beach tomorrow. That doesn't happen. Anyway, a day or so later I bump into a Dutch guy I met on the bus into Cambodia, apparently he is keen on the island so we agree to go the next day. We meet the next day and head over to the island. Anyway, we get to our bungalow to find both mattresses from the beds piled onto each other. Upon removal of the top one, we find a nice surprise, some rodent like droppings and piss. Marc says he doesnt mind haivng that bed - they are large and he will sleep on the other side of it, but I make them change the sheets. Going to bed, it apears the sheets have not been changed - there are still droppings, but fewer now. Damn Cambodians..... In bed, I feel some water dropping on me.....I ignore it, must be rain. Happens a few times....I can hear rustling above me. Pray to god it is not a bat and try to sleep. Next morning, I can see droppings on top of my mozzie net. Shit, that was piss. And there is the bat, happily sleeping above me. Damn...

STORY TWO
I am in Kampot. I wake in the night, stomach doesnt feel quite right, better go to bathroom. Good thing I did......


Cambodia is fun.

Saturday 4 October 2008

Still chilling in Laos - been up north with Christian (guy I met on train and hung out with) and his friends. We did typically touristy stuff - tubing in Vang Vieng, waterfalls etc in Luang Prabang. Still good fun though.

I flew back to Vientiane, and now gonna head south. Flew Lao Airlines back to Vientiane - it was a half hour flight or a 10 hour bus ride. no brainer really. was relieved to find I was on a French made plane and not a dodgy chinese one however. apparently the bus tonight has flat beds - sounds like a cheeky ruse to get people to take it to me. we shall see.

Sunday 28 September 2008

Taiwan, HK, Macau, Thailand, Laos

A short guide to what I have been doing when too lazy to blog properly:

Taiwan - Saw Geoff, is his usual slow self. Taipei is a bit average, but the country as a whole is pretty beautiful. Lucky me got stuck by a typhoon. People excellent, very generous and friendly. A great contrast to travelling in much of Asia.

HK - Not a lot to say, except go there. It is an excellent place, clean, modern, everything works wonderfully, some good sights and a surprising amount of unspoilt countryside. But if you're staying in a dorm room try to avoid one with a Frenchman in it. Our Frenchman vomited on himself, the floor and the guy in the bed next to him.....he was so traumatized he left the hostel at 4am and slept rough for two days.

Macau - Do you like gambling?

Bangkok - Its usual sordid self.

Vientiane, Laos - Quiet town by day, insanely cheap party central by night. Was gonna be here one night, now on our third, hopefully pick ourselves up tomorrow to finally make it out. Did you know that it is illegal for foreigners to sleep with Lao girls? Weird.

Wednesday 10 September 2008

Long time

Hmmm....lot of things happened in three weeks, where to start? Well, did some travelling in Korea.

Busan: Nice hostel, but first night I am the only guest. So June, the owner takes me out to meet his friends for dinner. Turns out his friend is a music manager for hotel/club acts. He brings over cheap Bulgarians and even cheaper Filipinos and works them for months at a time. He makes money, they also do, everyone is happy. Anyway, we're going to see a five girl all sister Filipino band perform. Turns out three are unbeleivably fit, the other two are average - not bad all the same. Bit more worrying is their father's control over them. He is definitely in charge and has decided their name should be, bizarrely to my ears, 'The Daughters.' - in line with this, every so often they shout out in unison 'we are the daughters!' The sisters, or the family, fine, but I find the daughters odd. When their dad is not in charge, one of the Bulgarians is trying to instruct them. 'you come to me, i make it better, do what I say, come to me, i make it better' - its friendly enough, but weirdly Soviet. Also, all the Bulgarian men are big, or look just like Dimitar Berbatov. Bulgarian women are blonde with their hair pulled back really tightly.

Later, we go to dinner, where we meet a friend of Boris (a Bulgarian who very much resembles Berbatov) - this is Mr Cho from the Tourism Board. He pays for our food and makes us drink lots of soju, whilst shouting 'this is Korean style' a lot. He then insists we go to a norabang, where we meet a short man from the Korean Broadcasting System and a few of his scallys. Mr Cho then proceeds to make us drink beer from a plate, which is also 'Korean style' apparently. Being Korea, he is the elder and is therefore in charge as long as he pays for EVERYTHING. I dont mind, I dont like to pay for things. Rest of evening spent observing Mr Cho as he tries to molest all the girls in the room in a comical fashion, interspersed by bouts of table dancing on his behalf (presumably this is also 'Korean style'). In what is presumably meant to be a Korean style, he also insists on tying his tie around my head as a bandana.

Next day I had dog stew - pretty good, and I didnt feel at all bad about it. Also a source of interest to the locals, who all came to say goodbye when I left the restaurant. Then, continuing in the amusement vein I headed to a local shoe shop to buy some laces to replace my rather broken ones - only problem was, mutual incomprehension meant they thought I wanted to buy new shoes. I kept on saying no, and pointing to my laces, which they took as a cue to shove different types of shoes into my face. Becoming rather farcical, I tried to leave, but found my exit blocked by members of the family, all incredibly keen to show me new shoes I didnt want. Eventually, new laces were produced, resulting in much hysterical laughter from the family when they finally realized that was what I wanted. Furthermore, I was forced to pose for a picture of me and my new laces, and offered wine. On the plus side, I got them for free, which was nice of them.

Gyeongju: Rather dingy hostel run by a man who would shout 'hellllloooooo' everytime you walked past reception. Lots of temples, burial grounds, that sorta thing. Also found myself a minor celebrity with the hordes of schoolchildren who are sent to this place. Lots of kids going 'hello, how are you,' fine, but I found all the requests for me to pose with them for pictures a bit bizarrre. Have they not seen a white guy before?? Rather spookily, everywhere I went I kept seeing these two girls - we didn't speak but I definitely recognized them and they recognized me, at the tourist attractions, even on the street. Thought that was the end of it, but no, they then turned up that evening at my hostel as I was chatting to a Japanese guy. Turns out they were also Japanese and we all hung around that evening together. There was lots of talk about fate etc - turns out they were living in Seoul learning Korean - which I rudely shattered by informing them I was going on Sunday, to much disappointment.

Another random thing - some bloke came came up to me when I was relxing in the burial mounds park. When a man comes up to you in a park, that can be a worrying sign, but this is Korea, so anything could be on his mind. Turns out he is a teacher from a school in Seoul, and do I want to work in his school. I say no, I can't. He says 'you work in my school, give me your email address.' I repeat that it is actually impossible for me to do this, given commitments in England. But still, 'you work in my school, give me email address to give to my boss.' After a few rounds of this I realize it is not working, so I give him my email address and agree to work in his school. I'm pretty sure that wasn't a binding contract, right?

Thursday 14 August 2008

Kafka does immigration

So, my work visa is up on the 30th. And I've not seen much outside Seoul - admittedly there isn't much in this country apart from Seoul and Samsung, but I thought it might be nice to see some of what there is. So I need a visa extension. No problem you would think - tourists get 90 days on entry here. Well you would be wrong - big problem. If you've been working, thats it, you have to go, you cant hang around and spend money in their country for a week or two. Apparently theyre terrified of people working illegally - but did someone not spot that I could have entered the country on a tourist visa and worked illegally anyway - they would have never known?

OK, well if they dont want me to see their country, i dont wanna see it, so there. I can go to China, which is cheaper and cooler. So i hatch a plot to get the ferry over there on the 30th with another teacher. Just a small matter of a visa, and its the olympics so there are lots of foreigners there so no problem right? wrong. china isn't issuing visas right now. the country is closed for the Olympics, and its gonna open too late for me. And when it does, visas issued in Seoul will need you to show the authorities your Alien Registration Card. But I am an unregistered alien, as I am here for less than 90 days. even more brilliantly, they will require you to have 6 months remaining on your ARC. which means you can only apply for a visa too early on in your contract for it to be usable by the end. at the point someone might want to apply for a visa, their ARC will be almost used up.

So, it now looks like Japan or Taiwan. Mention of Japan usually brings looks of horror from Yanks - who whisper in hushed tones 'it is as expensive as London.' Taiwan? well, i can scab free accomodation from Guest hopefully.

Monday 28 July 2008

Korean Surreality

OK, so I am doing some tourist stuff in Seoul on a Sunday evening. I am walking alongside a stream that has recently been 'beautified.' either side of me are huge bank buildings. around me, hundreds of people splashing in the water. The path comes to an end and I am greeted by a waterfall and a giant statue. on first glances it appears to be a giant angry red phallus. Closer inspection reveals it to be a giant red angry corkscrew type thing. that was a relief.

by the phallus corkscrew there appears to be someone making some sort of passionate speech. hundreds of people are sat down, listening and cheering at times. some fly flags depicting korea. all of them hold candles in disposable polystyrene cups. i sit down to watch for a while, and some guy wants to hand me a candle/cup. i ask him what it is for - he tells me in broken english, 'it is about being your own best friend.' - great, something quasi religious/cultish/nationalist. but they have nice songs. anyway, i decide to walk on. i turn a corner to be greeted by 200 or so police, decked out in full riot gear and lined up. luckily they are sat down and seem to be chilling out, so i walk past, resisting the temptation to take a photo.

pretty hungry, so I stop by Lotteria for a squid burger, chips and coke. this is later followed by a coffee from 'Sweet Buns.' Incidentally, the top stationery brand here is 'Morning Glory' - must buy some and post them home.

I miss the normality of eating ice cream and singing karaoke in a small room at 4am. Doubtless next weekend will bring that back.

Wednesday 23 July 2008

Not very good at this blogging business. Doesnt feel very natural, bit like keeping a diary, which was something that never really appealed to me.

Its raining here, which is probably down to it being rainy season. The Koreans manage to combine rainy season with hot season, which makes it a pretty silly place to my mind.

Apparently Seoul is the 5th most expensive place for expats. I can sorta see why - Western foods and drinks are not so cheap and certain items like fruit and carrots seem pretty expensive. also, land and rent is very expensive. however, as my flat is paid for and i like korean food, i reckon for me it is pretty cheap here. just have to avoid the Rice Krispies - at $17 a packet, they would be an expensive habit. But hey, a pint of beer is $2.50, so just replace Rice Krispies with beer.

Think the Koreans need to try to be more original. They love two things - working very hard and copying things, neither of which are conducive to originality. I think I work hard when I do 8hours in a day, but some of my kids are in classes from 9am-9pm, followed by homework, and this is at their holidays. Also,all the cars are grey, white, silver or black. and i mean all of them